I am still alive...but a little heavier :-(

I have been out of the picture in like forever! Why? Because I dont want to admit that I fell off the wagon. I am afraid to look at my previous posts because I am sure it will make me sick.  I need help..encouragement to get back on the horse, remove my love of Dr. Pepper, get a fill and start excercising.

Advise?

Honestly, I am scared to death to go to my doc and get a fill and see weight gain. I feel like I have let him down.

Slim Down Saturday - May 26th

Week 14
Post op Week 12
Starting weight: 316.8
Weight  two weeks ago: 274
Current weight: 267.8
Total loss: 49 pounds


I am still having a hard time believing this is happening to me.  I am on track to be at 50+ pounds lost next week.  I am doing great. Still no fills and my stress is lots less.  This weekend I am going jeep rock crawling with my husband.  I would have never done that 49 pounds ago.  Yall have asked for before/after pics so I have put them together :-)

You will need to scroll for my big before and after pics....

Check out those pants!!  Silver 26/28 capris that now fall off and my current 18/20 pink capris I got from the ladies section NOT the womens AKA Moomoo section!!!

I'm still here and weight loss update

So I have been mia lately.... Phd finals are a bitch... And a lot in band world has happened.

So stress and my band HATE each other! I was stressing over finals and I developed acid reflux and could not keep anything down.. Not even water. I suffered through about every other day like this with many calls to the doc thinking I had a slip, meds, and a lot of will power. Thankfully I am past that now and since the day after my last final- I have not got sick once!!! That's five whole days so far!!

I have lost tremendously since the last post as well.. At 9 weeks post op to the day today I am down around 42 pounds.... Exact numbers only looked at on Saturdays. I am down 4-5 pants sizes and one pant size STARTS with a big fat 1 folks!!! It might be stretchy pants but I have not bought an 18 since I was like 16 years old. I am able to look for closes in the ladies section... Not the women's moomoo section.

I have flown through NSVs including getting below my lowest known adulthood weight of 278 when I was a senior in high school. I feel great. No back pain... First time since having Dixie. I have tons of energy. I cross my legs all the time and love it and the sides of chairs dont push or even touch me in almost every chair I sit at. I can sit Indian style in the floor for hours while playing with Dixie and it never hurts.

These are all great things and I love my ever changing life but this band has been far from easy. When I am stressed i have what I have referred to as forced bulimia. For the rest of my life, I have to gauge the "swallow rating" of every bite and if it does no pass my test it gets spit into a napkin instead of thrown up later. I have wanted a cinnamon roll for weeks but settled for lightly buttered wheat toast this weekend instead. My stomach is so empty all the time that if I drink milk on an empty stomach in the morning especially my stomach acid will curdle it and it will get stuck in the band as curdled milk... Yep it's real... I was so shocked at what I saw in the sink I looked it up and that's a real lap bad issue for some awesome lucky people like me :-/. I almost lost my pants in Walmart... Starting falling to the floor... Had to tie them with a hair tie the rest of that trip... My ring is like 4 sizes to big and I lost it in my purse one day...I was so afraid it feel off in the bathroom or something.


Anyway that's me right now. The doc is impressed with my results and no fill until my weight loss slows down. He is really surprised my hunger is so curved with just the band... I have Zero fluid inflating it right now... Kinda hopes it stays this way... Especially after the episode my high stress caused the band.


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The band has accomplished no other could

As I was concentrating on chewing my half full Chinese buffet takeout (only fill it up with little bits) I started thinking about how the band has changed my eating habits. I have developed these weird habits to keep from getting stuck.
-no herbs or onions... I pick them off if I are them.
- I will eat the insides of veges (some) but never the peel... Even cooked
-I cut everything with a knife
-I chew chew chew and if it's still clumpy I spit it out.
-I drink before a meal but not after unless I want an episode that has to be like death...
- I listen to my stomach for stop signals like I am waiting for an announcement about a sale at my favorite store
-I pick items to eat not because they taste good but because I hope it will go down easy
It's not fun. The band has taken my joy of food away. All the things I loved about food are gone....no 4 sushi rolls, eating an entire tomato raw, downing 4 Dr peppers in a day, eating sesame chicken, eating in the car, going through the donut drive through....and so on and so on
I can say all of this because my head hunger is gone... I just miss the old me. I have lost weight but not enough to really impact my life and I am in this middle zone of happiness and sadness. One minute I miss the old me- the next I am amazed at how great I feel.
It's just a weird position to be in.
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Slim down Saturday and Naming of the band

Week 8
Post op Week 6
Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 291.4
Current weight: 285.2
Week's loss: 6.2 lbs
 Total loss: 31.6


This week I kicked weight loss ass! I got in the scale and was shocked. I did not expect it especially since I went to the doc Monday and was told I need to start exercising to loose weight faster!!! He said I should be loosing 3-5 pounds a week.

I was also informed I would get a full next month if I am keeping my food down better... Which this week has been full of nothing but bad food days. I ate nothing Friday and Saturday but liquid and yogurt to calm my crazy ass band.... So dubbed Mercedesbecause I knew a girl in school named that and she was a crazy jealous girl who I apparently stole her boyfriend when I moved to a new town and she made me suffer until I got popular and sicked my possy on her crazy ass. My lapband possy is a 24-48 liquid diet so there!

Anyway.. I have hit the 30lbd loss mark and am thrilled. I weigh less then I did when I met my husband, am noticing being comfy in chairs easier, little to no back pain... And I can see my senior year weight( smallest I remember) around the corner. 278.... I need to take official pics soon...it's been a while.

Night all :-)



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Bad Food Day

bleh...I am highly thinking about only eating dinner because any time I eat at work I get sick..no matter if I am with someone, at the office, eating out..does not matter.

I made me a very thin crust pizza (homemade) and ate it for lunch..yep sick as a dog AND in class right now.  LOVELY.  Thankfully a bathroom is right across the hall.

Either this talk of stats and looming deadlines OR this food issue will make me irp.

BLEH - Goodnight!

Please help...

Please take this survey for me so I do not fail my PhD class.  :-)

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dFpUSm9wNUYxNVZ2NWk4UVlYNC1jUGc6MQ#gid=0

Slim Down Saturday Week 7

Week 7
Post op Week 5
Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 293.6
Current weight: 291.4
Week's loss: 2.2 lbs
 Total loss: 25.4 pounds
______________________________________

This is awesome!  I would have lost more if I would have not gotten familiar with some Easter candy.  BLEH.....still no coke though :-)

I also have a HUGE NSV. On Thursday of this week I fit in my first pair of goal jeans...a 22 - non stretch dress pants.  When I started this 7 weeks ago I was in a pair of 28 non stretchy pants.  WOW.  That is amazing to me.  Today I bought me a pair of khaki capris in that size and I plan on buying my next goal pants and a smaller shirt at the end of this month...A size 18!

So while I am not there yet let me say something about this.

One - I am less than 2 pounds from the 280s.  I have not been there in almost 10 years.  We are quickly approaching a goal that I honestly thought was laughable to get to 2 months ago -- my high school weight of around 278.  At that point I wore a 16-18. 

An 18 shirt and pants...its been around 8 years since I wore clothes that did not start with a 2.  I am having weeks where I loose little to nothing but it only lasts a week here and there but let me state that I am THRILLED at my weight loss.  I am averaging 3.6 pounds a week! 

I have a one month check up on Monday and I am hoping that he will release me not to come back until I need a fill....need to save those remaining 8 visits that I have already paid for.  I dont think I need one now.  I each very little and I am still having issues keeping things down if I do not chew like 100 times.  Getting any tighter would be miserable in my opinion.  It would be great if I stay like this without fills.  I think it contributes to me not drinking carbonation -- but that is just my opinion on the way I feel about my body.  My doc is STRONGLY against soda as well..he made me repeat that I would quit them like 5 times when I scheduled my surgery.

Anyway...need to do a few more paper gradings before I go to bed. -- Storms will be here early in the morning.

"Its not even a Secret"

 I have come out of the lapband closet.  I have had people ask me what I have done to loose weight but I have been pretty picky on who I tell. Well today is 1 month with the surgery so I finally said...who cares..let me be an inspiration since its so noticeable.  Who cares if people have a problem with it.

To my face, I have only gotten positive remarks but I have learned how fast gossip travels.

Background
I live and work in Fayetteville, AR - that is the north part of the state.  I work on our satellite campus for a university hospital in the state.  I used to live and work at the main campus in Little Rock - but rarely if ever talk or see pretty much anyone there but one or two people.  I told one person in LR about my surgery and swore her to secrecy until I was ready. Like a great friend she abided by my wishes and did not tell a soul.

So anyway.....
I was talking to her today and discussing the huge difference in those two pics below and she was like...oh yeah so and so asked me why I did not tell her about your surgery.  I was like..how the hell does she know. I have not seen her...even through video conference in almost a year!  Apparently madame so and so did not want to share her gossip trail but proclaimed "What?  Its not even a secret!"

REALLY!!

How many people over the past month have sat around the lunch table in two areas of the state discussing my weight loss?  I thought it was just me and my close friends and family but apparently its an entire college within said university hospital.   Mind you - me and this particular group of people do not get along that well and have a "work history" that is tainted like a bad relationship where your best friend dates your one true love in junior high....YEAH  one of those.

Anyway...

I just can not get over how madame so and so and all these other people know. I tell a few people on my campus and BAM its front page university news. 

All and all I really do not care...as I was prepared for this and I accept it now since I have got past the 20 lbs loss mark but still...nothing irks me more then people who gossip about me....especially those people where we have a tainted past.

More progress with pics

Progress in pics

So I took a picture this morning with Dixie for Easter and I do see a difference. :-)
1st pic is about three months before surgery and the second is from today- Easter 2012








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Location:Brenda Ave,Lincoln,United States

Slim down Saturday. Kinda

Week 6
 Post op Week 4
 Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 294.0
Current weight: 293.6
Week's loss: .4 lbs
 Total loss: 23.2 pounds
__________________________


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Location:Lincoln,United States

Woman dies of over exertion of taste buds

I knew when getting the band that my life would change.... In numerous ways. Today however, that has really hit home.

I had to go to Wal-Mart to get diapers for Dixie.... Thankfully there is a neighborhood market on the way home. Anyway, I am searching the aisles for something for my hungry husband to eat and NOTHING appeals to me.. I mean nothing. My mind goes trough this weird new conversation like:

Little Debbie brownies yum- eh I don't want to gain weight.

Pancakes-- I really need some wheat flour but I had bread at breakfast

Chicken its my fav - uh no don't want that special kind of stuck hell


Pizza- damn crust


That's fried, that's breaded, that will be too dry...

It went on aisle after aisle. So I decided to make Stephen some tacos. I could eat the insides with no tortilla.

Which leads me to my next life changing moment.. How the list of foods I can't eat keeps expanding.


Bread?? Oh no I can have that.. No problem at all.

Raw veges. Even salsa..that's a big fat stuck episode staring me down. Have I mentioned that I am Southern and used to be known to eat a tomato like an apple!! This no no food breaks my heart like chicken does.

Corn is on that list 2.

I have about decided that the only way to get my veges in is through v8 juice... Which honestly tastes like a rotten tomato to me😂. Maybe the spicy will have a nice... Bloody Mary type flare to it.

Oh and let's not get me started on how my favorite fast food summer drink is now to sweet for me: frozen strawberry lemonade... Or that the hot chocolate with no whip cream and chocolate drizzle I got today had to be watered down because it was to sweet 2.

I guess my taste buds are going boring on me. If I was to ever again drink a Dr pepper, I may die of taste-bud shock! I can just picture that headline posted all over yahoo news now: Woman dies of over exertion of taste buds. Hahah





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Slim Down Saturday - Post Op Week 3

Week 5
 Post op Week 3
 Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 298.0
Current weight: 294.0
Week's loss: FOUR Pounds!!
 Total loss: 22.8 pounds

__________________________

I can not express how happy I am. I have zipped right past the 20 pounds lost mark and I weigh less now then I did when I met my husband...not much less though.  :-)  The next goal is to be at m high school weight!  It really is hard to take all of this in.  I am still wearing all the same clothes that I have in my closet but I have been able to wear jeans that have been laughing at me since I got pregnant in November of 2009.

I am doing good - learning to chew chew chew and slow down when eating.  I am now on all foods and so I am going to slowly try different foods to see what works for me and what does not.  My head hunger for the past few days has been minimal.  There really is not anything that I am in the mood to eat...just taking it nice and easy and moving on forward.  

Dixie is going to sleep for her nap right now and I have been working on some spring cleaning.  I tried a flour-less oatmeal pancake today...it was not that bad. I will post the recipe and pics shortly on my recipes page that I am going to open up to the public. 

Goals for next week -

Drink more water!!
Take my vitamins nightly.
Get some spring cleaning done.
Start tracking what I eat.

Rumble gurgle plop

So I am laying in bed while my daughter goes to sleep and there is this HUGE noise that startles her and makes her sit up. Is it the dog, a car horn, or even thunder???? Uh No, it's my freaking stomach!!! I am not hungry.. Well I don't feel hungry but that thing is making some crazy weird sounds in there. It sounds like someone is wringing it out... Like a diver jumping into a pool of jello PLOP!

Anyway, I tried drinking something warm this morning and it made me feel much better. I don't drink coffee or hot tea so I got some sugar free hot cocoa for those super tight mornings.

Tomorrow is my weigh in and I am hoping for a loss. As usual, I took a peak at my weight on Wednesday but after two days ( wed and Thurs) Of bad food days there is no telling what that scale will say.

I am feeling much more active and am hoping to get a room spring cleaned this weekend... Unless of course we win the Mega Millions and I can hire a maid :-)

Night...

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human plunge

I want to talk about my new discovery...the importance of One Single Bite.  For the most part, I am doing good with food.  Not sure what my weight loss is this week but I am drinking water and trying to stay healthy.  A new development has appeared however and I do not like it...spitting, sliming, PB'ing...whatever you want to call it..it has now made its home with me. 

I have not had any dramatic episodes and while it does hurt, I can quietly and calmly take care of it within a few hours of eating each time it happens.  At first, I thought it was an issue with the food I was eating...so I changed it up...it kept happening.  So what is the deal.

It just dawned on me....its not chewing one stupid little bite enough at some point during the meal.  This is ridiculous.  I feel like crap for hours because I forgot to chew enough on one bite...and it comes back to haunt me.

Of course to get to feel better and get that pesky large item up, I am spitting and sliming the remnants of what I have ate that has me all clogged up.  Its like I have become a human plunge.

I have got to remember to chew chew chew...but in the heat of the moment when I am eating..I don't always remember 100% of the time.  I need to tattoo it on my hand or something so I see it ever time I pick up a dang fork.

Does this happen to anyone else?  Should I be concerned? 

Slim Down Saturday

Week 4
Post op Week 2
Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 298.0
Current weight: 298.0
Week's loss: a big fat ZERO
Total loss: 18.8 pounds

__________________________
So while I am bummed about the 0 loss, I totally get it.  I am eating now and going from basically nothing after surgery to eating...at least I did not gain!!  I also think I am a weird lap band patient.  I have tried a few different foods and I absolutely CANNOT do cooked broccoli (not even trying raw) but I can do a pancake or even a piece of pizza (well a bite).   In fact, I am sure that the few nights of pancake and egg for dinner is why I did not loose anything.

I feel good and I know what I need to do to work on weight loss next week:

• Exercise
• Not eating out
• No syrup!!!!
• No syrup!!!
• I also bought smaller sizes of greek parfait.  I am sure I will be full with it and maybe something else for breakfast...not sure what yet...an egg maybe...

I am off to try and do some exercise for a few minutes while Dixie is out riding in the jeep with her daddy.  :-)  

Head hunger and I am old

I am sitting here drinking a low sodium V8 juice and all I can think about is a cheeseburger. I want one soooo bad. I am happy with the top bun gone as well....just let me have the rest. The only non mushy thing I have tried is chicken so it will be a few weeks before I attempt to eat said burger but jeeze this head hunger is killing me.

Does head hunger ever go away? Will eating a burger in a few weeks (even if it's just like a bite) help or make it worse?

Now on to the really sad news, this surgery has turned me into an old woman and I have proof:



All but one is vitamins... And yes one is a flint stone's chewable but still.... A pill organizer. I did not plan to have one of these for like another 40 years.... Guess that's the price I have to pay to get supermodel hot. ;-)


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Just moving right along

I have not been on the scale since Saturday - which is a record for me since I started this process a few weeks ago.  I am trying to go till Saturday so I can be surprised. 

I am trying thicker foods...yogurt - LOVE greek yogurt with fruit and I had mashed potatoes tonight.  I have also incorporated small amounts of real food to see how I can handle it. 

The only thing I am dealing with is the very tight feeling of fullness I get when I eat very little. No matter what it is I eat, I get this feeling of fullness that I have never had before.  I know it is being full because it dissipates and is just my normal full after about 15 minutes. 

Hope everyone is well...watching Smash :-)

Slim Down Saturday

Week 3
Post op Week 1
Starting weight: 316.8
Weight last week: 309.2
Current weight: 298.0
Week's loss: 11.2 pounds!!
Total loss: 18.8 pounds

________________________

Wow - 11.2 pounds in one week post op..thats awesome!!  I dont feel hungry and I am not having any problems or complications aside from some port tugging which I read is to be expected for a few weeks.  I have not really worked out..been busy dealing with a sick baby and a midterm statistics test.  I went to the doc and he is very impressed with my current progress.  He wants to see me in a month after I am on solid food to see how I am doing.  I am guessing then he will let me come back when I stop loosing weight regularly for a fill.  I have 9 more visit before I have to start paying for visits so I hope I keep staying full pretty easy.

After talking to him, I have moved on to full liquids and ate some yogurt.  Greek yogurt is awesome and lots of protein.  I am trying different brands to find the kind I like the most.  I also just made my first smoothie.   :-)

Well Dixie is being CRAZY so thats all for now.